A+Chinese+civilian+living+in+Nanking+2

A Chinese Civilian Living in Nanking Your main concerns at this time and in life:
 * Name:** Kong Dan Bai
 * Age:** 16
 * Gender:** Female
 * Occupation:** Just helping in the household
 * Appearance:** Short, skinny, and small. Rosy cheeks.
 * Location:** Nanking, China.
 * Personality/Quirks/Unique Personality Traits:**
 * Thoughtful and understanding
 * Cheerful and happy, quite talkative
 * Quick hands and feet
 * Know household works well; sowing, cooking, taking care of babies, etc.
 * Family:** Part of a large family. 3rd daughter of 4 girls and 2 boys.
 * Father
 * Mother
 * Older sister: Ya Hong
 * Older brother: Wen Yi
 * Second Older sister: Ya Ming
 * Me
 * Younger sister: Ya Hui
 * Younger brother: Zhi Yi
 * Education**: Not proper education that allows obtaining of knowledge from books. Learned how to take care of household chores from a young age. Learned how to live in a large family and understand/ consider individuals.
 * Languages you speak:** Chinese
 * Portrait (an image that you and we can live with):**

**Ant Farm for the Pacific War**


 * Diary #1**

December 13, 1937

My hands are shaking and its dark, I hear quick shuffle of footsteps, whimpers, and frantic cries outside. It seems like the only thing that can calm me right now is writing. I found my journal under the fallen drawer among the debris and chaos of my broken house. I sensed tension lately around my parents when they talked about how our country was developing bad relationships with the Empire of Japan. I did not really understand what they were talking about and why they were worrying so much. But....I should have known better. It was like any other day, I woke up to the sound of my baby brother crying for some attention. I got up, fed him while I heard my mother busily working in the kitchen and my older sister patching up my fathers clothes. Suddenly, massive sounds that deafened my ears came ringing and ringing, closer and louder as I felt the house shake and hear screams of fright and surprise. I was struck with fear and was glued to the spot when my older brother came running in and grabbed me by the arm and stuffed me into the closet and threw blankets over me. I could hear my mother and father shouting orders to Ya-Hong and Wen-Yi to hide Ya-Ming and Ya-Hui somewhere in the house. I could here my heavy breathing, my heart pounding, the constant thundering of whatever it was, and the running and shouting of my family all in the dark. As the sound of the bombing (now I figured the sounds were bombing) died down, I began to hear gun shots as well as shouts and the marching of soldiers. I had no idea what, where, how the rest of my family were. I was so tense; no single muscle in my body seemed to move: I could not lift the blankets, I just could not. I do not no how much time had passed but it seemed like hours and hours. That was when I hear the front door of my house being slammed down and shouts of angry men came through. I could hear the men saying things that I could not understand as they were tearing down the house. Then...oh no. Zhi Yi, my baby brother began to cry! The men reacted immediately as I heard my mother’s voice screaming and yelling, begging....BAM! BAM! I knew they shot my mother. I threw off the blankets and peeped through the crack of the closet door. BAM! BAM! BAM! The shots were becoming countless as I saw through the crack, my father and brother dying in their hot pool of blood. My mother sprawled on top of Zhi Yi and Ya Hui. The foreign soldiers (which I figured were from Japan later on) began searching again through my house as they threw down furniture and kicked around things. Then I heard my two other sisters Ya-Hong and Ya Ming scream from the room across. The soldiers must have found them. I could hear the men laughing with delight. I knew what those evil devils were up to but I couldn’t move my body. I saw Ya Hong being pulled by the hair to another room and Wen Yi was...already occupied. I felt so disgusted and helpless as I hear the screaming of my sisters and the slaps on the faces they received. But at that moment an important looking military leader stepped into the ruins of the room. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand in hopes of lessening the sound of my breathing. He simply stepped over the corpse of my family and began looking around; I think he was looking to see if there was anyone left in the house to fulfill himself with. He spied the closet and began walking toward me when there was a shout from outside. The man turned around and began walking away, but before he left he picked up one of my rag dolls, stared at it for a couple seconds and walked out, taking the doll with him. I still do not understand why he took it, that was quite odd. When the men all left, my heart sank. I did not know what to do, I was shaking and my head was dizzy; I could sense there was still chaos outside as I heard shouts and screams and gun shots. I guess I had fallen asleep, or maybe passed out from the shock. It was less loud outside then before. I could still hear wails of women and marching of soldiers outside. I opened the door of the closet just a little bit. It creaked. Night had fallen so I could hardly make out the figures of the dead corps sprawled among the room, which was good. I spotted my journal, ran for it and came tip toeing and fast as I could back to my spot in the closet. And here I am writing. Writing for the sake that I can organize my jumbled thoughts on what had just happened. Why? For what? What was going on? Had the was my parents were talking about reached to Nanking? I just saw all my family member die in front of my eyes and my sisters raped. What is this? Never ending questions are bombarding my head like the bombs and bullets I heard outside. I would have rather died.


 * Diary # 2**

March 20, 1940

I cannot believe that already three years has past since the Nanking Massacre had took place. I still wake in the middle of the night panting and sweating from the nightmares I get from reruns of the incident. I am lucky to have found my uncle and his daughter still living in their house outside of the suburb. It took me three days by walk to reach their house because I had to move quietly and move mostly during the night away from all the trouble and to avoid the Japanese soldiers whom I saw were constantly raping other women and girls. I am so scared about what will happen and every day of my life I have to live with a burden that I could not save my family. It seems like there is no future for this country, no hope, no nothing. I am helping in the household of my uncle, but I am not doing much to help him. He goes to work for the Japanese, working like a slave to be paid nearly nothing. He cannot afford to feed the three of us. I have made a decision: when I turn twenty one, I will leave my uncle and pursuit my own way to make a living. The Japanese powers and influence over Japan and especially in Nanking seems to be ever expanding.Wang Ching-Wei became the leader of a new Chinese government where Nanking is to be the center of this power. However my uncle told me that this government system is created by the Japanese and Wang Ching-wei is merely like a puppet for the Japanese government. Everyone here calls him Hanjian, the traitor to the Han nation. What is becoming of this country I do not know. I just wish I could at least understand why this is happening to us, and why we have to suffer for something that we are not even responsible for. But I heard that it is not only our country that is suffering from the powerful influence of Japan, like Manchuria or French Indochina. People who talk always mention about the other powerful westerners from America who are angry at the Japanese like we are because they were invading America’s territories and breaking balance in powers. If this is true, I worry there will be a larger war far beyond of what I expect. I just hope our country does not have to suffer furthermore as the battle field.


 * Diary # 3**

August 17, 1942

As I planned, I have decided to move away from the shelter of my family and become strong by becoming independent. For the past three years I have gathered some money that will probably allow me to travel to Shanghai where I hear it is better and more urbanized and I will be able to find a job. I feel so sorry that I have to leave my Uncle who has taken great care of me, but the growing regime of Japanese powers and governmental rules and restrictions that I experience here is something that I can no longer stand. I did not notice before but I found that inside me was a growing force of anger and frustration. Maybe a new start in Shanghai may help me clear my mind. I know Japanese influences will still be present in Shanghai but I cannot live near the place where my family was murdered. I left early in the morning before sunrise and arrived near the Yangtze river where I met Yue Qin. He said he was from Shanghai and was on his way to Nanking. I decided I would ask him so questions about Shangai, and after all he did not seem threatening and had a nice smile. He said he lost his wife and I resemble her a lot and he was on his way to Nanking to stay at his friends. I explained how such a horrible place Nanking was and how it would be a bad choice to go there. I talked him out of going to Nanking where the powers of Japanese regime is expanding and there is no freesom. While we were talking, I felt like I knew him for a long time, something I never experienced before. I wanted to talk to him forever and never separate, and by the looks of it he probably felt the same. After somewhat a long pause, he asked me if I would like to go with him to some other place. I did not have second thoughts about his suggestion. I agreed to leave with him. And now we are on our way to god knows where but my hear feels so fulfilled. Is this what they call love at first sight? It is the first time I feel like I can trust a stranger for good.


 * Diary # 4**

December 14, 1945

Now it seems like my life is becoming worth living for. Yue Qin and I married each other once we settled down in Xi’an, and he has taken great care of me since. The war has come to an end although it is going to take forever to recover, just the thought of not having to carry fear in my heart relieves me. Yue has kept me updated on the war, how Japan had been very greedy and attempting to spread its power through out asia such as Hong Kong. However the British has strong military tactics and America was too much of a strong country for Japan to handle, especially with the amount of weapons they had. Although the Americans are of foreign powers as well, I am glad they helped end the war and I feel so liberated and free. I am so glad that the war is finally over. Yue is a great husband and he works hard to keep food on the table, even during the hard times of war. Happiness is restored in my heart where I hope it will never leave. I have not told Yue yet but I am pregnant with our first child, just in time so that the war is over and we can take great care of him. I hope our child grows up to be a great person. The pain and suffering I had to experience at a young age traumatized me for a great deal of time, but knowing how there are people who suffered more than me makes me pull back and become stronger. The war and the loss of my parents has made me mature so fast. I wonder how my life would have been if it was not for war. What my family might be doing, and if I would have ever met Yue and had this baby. I still cannot believe the war is over though...thinking of all I suffered I feel like my family and I deserve the best. Yue said that he will protect me forever, and that he loves me. He said to forget about the past and look forward towards the future.