Andy's+Enterprise+of+Pith+and+Moment,+Block+F,+2011

Hypothesis: The frequency, and felicity, with which one’s ablutions are performed have no relevancy born to the gender thereof within the contemplative confines of a public lavatory.

Independent Variable: Congeniality of lavatory’s facade, decor, etc. (department store paradigm) Quality of water (standard, municipal) Quantity of soap (ostensibly infinite) Physical formation of soap (liquid) Faucets (not airport variation) Proximity to stalls (5.5 paces) Non-gender-oriented lavatory signs Participants (100 male, 100 female) Ethnicity (homogenous) Pious or puritanical predilection (agnostic or atheist) IQ (90-120) Age (25-55) Mental acuity/celerity/perspicuity (categorically sane; no hitherto hearkened diagnoses indicative of instability or egocentric/narcissistic/solipsistic cerebration) Marital status (50:50 ratio; male and, not to, female) Net worth (50:50 ratio, middle-class/ plebeian to upper-class/plutocratic wages)

Dependent Variable: Ratio of males to females who condescend to, either concordant or contrary to contumeliously contended consensus, indulge in the luminously lucullan lavation of themselves, however perfunctorily, within the melancholy and meretricious milieu of the public lavatory...

Effectuation: Via the utilization of one hundred males to one hundred females of identical ethnicity, agnostic or atheistic predilections, adequate intelligence quotient, so beatifically betwixt the ages of twenty five through fifty five, immaculate from any such empirically-imbrued imprecations suggesting irrationality and the preponderance of self-adulatory complexes, if only to the extent that societally cerebrated sanctimony will exculpate, which is still considerable, at marital statuses polarized within a 50:50 ratio, and multifarious net worths, albeit precluding penury or privation, we will ascertain as to how frequently, or sporadically, the aforementioned ablutions betoken to betide amidst the constituents of both sexes. With always-replenished repositories of liquid soap, ensconced within a department store lavatory, capitalizing upon the quixotic and cordial cogitations that are the municipal utilities, the faucets, which will bear neither resemblance nor reminiscence in pertinence to confounded implements installed in airports, will be five and one half paces adjacent to the stalls.